I love Dungeon Prompts but to start off season 3 with Concepts of God-What are Yours? Honestly Sreejit this is unfair. Wars erupt on this topic every day. But for you I will write. Well, if being completely honest, it’s because you posted a clip from Orange is the New Black my latest obsession. I guess it felt like a sign.
So, God? Yeah, I believe in a divine power, an energy source we all can tap into and return to time and time again. But he is not some bearded man sitting upon fluffy clouds. I should admit I’ve had moments where I envisioned him a sadist- holding a magnifying glass up to the sun as we ants scurry about below. More than once my faith in Karma has been tested. My concept of God undoubtable shaped by the incarnations I have chosen and the life I live.
I was raised by a Presbyterian and an atheist. I am, as they say, spiritual but not religious. And there are days I still feel Jewish. I have moments when a Buddhist mediation or Muslim prayer is all that sustain me. We are all brothers born of a split, the divide between Cain and Abel. From which eastern and western philosophies emerged.
I was cast out of Sunday school (more than once if being honest). Expressing you think you’re the reincarnation of Jesus Christ is apparently verboten. But the North Star birthmark upon the bridge of my nose and a sense of connectedness to all things was the only proof this 5 year old needed. No one understood back then the metaphor that still courses through my veins.
It’s a lineage of DNA that traces back to my grandmother. Ovum formed within my mother. A wee germ of consciousness housed and nurtured inside my grandmother’s womb. It’s no wonder they say it takes three generations to heal, to make any lasting change. Trust me the stubbornness gene remains intact to this day. And it is in good company.
Perhaps this is why the hardwiring of DNA becomes more obvious to me with time and age. Each generation born from the matter of the first- this continuous succession of birth, death and rebirth repeats. Life is cyclical. And as much as I might hope to, I cannot escape its clutches. This fallen apple and that tree inexplicably linked to Newton.
So I chase my tail around each incarnation. A transmigration of lives, it’s my soul’s journey through time. It’s a relay race.
I was a fighter plane pilot, Côte d’Azur sea salt farmer, English lady days full with tea and crumpets. I’ve played gypsy violin in a caravan. I’ve studied the Kama Sutra. We have met before. I’ve never been famous. Though I have been burned at the stake, starved and beaten, left for dead and killed at the hand of my first husband. Or so he used to joke.
I bear the mark of a noose around my neck, a falsely accused horse thief. I have stolen a horse. I am an excellent swimmer yet I’ve drowned in the bathtub. My womb has borne child time and again. But in this incarnation I’m barren. I can trace my past in my palms and health upon my soles. And yet I am a child still learning to walk.
But Sreejit’s question was our concept of God. Mine is best taken from the movie Stigmata. “The kingdom of God is inside you and all around you. Not in buildings made of wood and stone. Split a piece of Wood and I am there. Lift a stone and you will find me.” I believe I am God. You are God. We are all God. God is inside us and all around us. And if we sit still enough we might just hear the whispers.