The Kingdom of Heaven is Inside You


I love Dungeon Prompts but to start off season 3 with Concepts of God-What are Yours? Honestly Sreejit this is unfair. Wars erupt on this topic every day. But for you I will write. Well, if being completely honest, it’s because you posted a clip from Orange is the New Black my latest obsession. I guess it felt like a sign.

So, God? Yeah, I believe in a divine power, an energy source we all can tap into and return to time and time again. But he is not some bearded man sitting upon fluffy clouds. I should admit I’ve had moments where I envisioned him a sadist- holding a magnifying glass up to the sun as we ants scurry about below. More than once my faith in Karma has been tested. My concept of God undoubtable shaped by the incarnations I have chosen and the life I live.

I was raised by a Presbyterian and an atheist. I am, as they say, spiritual but not religious. And there are days I still feel Jewish. I have moments when a Buddhist mediation or Muslim prayer is all that sustain me. We are all brothers born of a split, the divide between Cain and Abel. From which eastern and western philosophies emerged.

I was cast out of Sunday school (more than once if being honest). Expressing you think you’re the reincarnation of Jesus Christ is apparently verboten. But the North Star birthmark upon the bridge of my nose and a sense of connectedness to all things was the only proof this 5 year old needed.  No one understood back then the metaphor that still courses through my veins.

It’s a lineage of DNA that traces back to my grandmother. Ovum formed within my mother. A wee germ of consciousness housed and nurtured inside my grandmother’s womb. It’s no wonder they say it takes three generations to heal, to make any lasting change. Trust me the stubbornness gene remains intact to this day. And it is in good company.

Perhaps this is why the hardwiring of DNA becomes more obvious to me with time and age. Each generation born from the matter of the first- this continuous succession of birth, death and rebirth repeats. Life is cyclical. And as much as I might hope to, I cannot escape its clutches. This fallen apple and that tree inexplicably linked to Newton.

So I chase my tail around each incarnation. A transmigration of lives, it’s my soul’s journey through time. It’s a relay race.

I was a fighter plane pilot, Côte d’Azur sea salt farmer, English lady days full with tea and crumpets. I’ve played gypsy violin in a caravan. I’ve studied the Kama Sutra. We have met before. I’ve never been famous. Though I have been burned at the stake, starved and beaten, left for dead and killed at the hand of my first husband. Or so he used to joke.

I bear the mark of a noose around my neck, a falsely accused horse thief. I have stolen a horse. I am an excellent swimmer yet I’ve drowned in the bathtub. My womb has borne child time and again. But in this incarnation I’m barren. I can trace my past in my palms and health upon my soles. And yet I am a child still learning to walk.

But Sreejit’s question was our concept of God. Mine is best taken from the movie Stigmata. “The kingdom of God is inside you and all around you. Not in buildings made of wood and stone. Split a piece of Wood and I am there. Lift a stone and you will find me.”  I believe I am God. You are God. We are all God. God is inside us and all around us. And if we sit still enough we might just hear the whispers.


16 thoughts on “The Kingdom of Heaven is Inside You

  1. What a great read!! I really enjoyed this and that clip is precious…I so believe that more than a scary old man that wants to punish us. What a brave cookie you were at 5 in Sunday school. Wow!! Good on you! I remember at 8 asking a question in religion class and the teacher looked at me as if I had something crawling out of my nose…her only response was, “Because YOU have to have faith…questioning is no allowed!” I learned to shut up and figure things out later.

    • Shutting up was not my strong suit. I was banished another time for questioning how if God is all forgiving that there could be unforgivable sins. Made sense to me. The minister and I had lots of time to chat and I was usually found setting up juice and cookies for after services. My mom says I came into the world knowing who I was and I was not afraid to express it.

  2. Deep down, I think that there is a big chuck of the population who think that they are Jesus at some point of their lives… glad for you that you dealt with that when you were five. It gets a bit more complicated after that.

    I loved the Stigmata movie reference and your definition of God via the creative analysis of your own reincarnations (you’ve never been famous?!?) and, ofcourse, your synopsis of how God is everywhere and everyone. So true.

    Such a great read- thanks!

    • Glad to know I am not alone in the JC complex. I honestly think it is simply a connectedness to the divine. One I sensed young but boy oh boy did people freak out.

      Stigmata was a great movie. Thank you for reading and commenting.

  3. I loved this line, it made me laugh;
    “I was cast out of Sunday school (more than once if being honest). Expressing you think you’re the reincarnation of Jesus Christ is apparently verboten.”

    I love the word verboten but I never use it. I so enjoyed your post. Many of us writing this prompt had similar childhood church experiences.


    I too know many of my past lives.

    • Sindy,

      I have a particular fondness for Yiddish. To me the words sound like the emotions they express. And I was truly kicked out many times. The other was went I went toe to toe battling rounds of an all forgiving God and unforgivable sins. The minister and I got very close. I often found myself setting up tea and cookies after being banished to his office. I think they were thrilled once I joined the choir. They could keep me busy.

      Knowing past life’s is wonderful. I hope to discover some more along this road.

      • I did not edit myself at all as a child. We were similar children. lol I don’t think I would question the Sunday school teacher because they didn’t go very deep, it was the preacher in the pulpit talking hell fire and damnation that caused be consternation. I would ask my Mom who is a blind faith believer, so she never had an acceptable answer. I just bid my time until I could escape from that belief system.

      • Biding your time was no doubt the right course of action for us mouthy ones. 😉 I was somewhat lucky having an atheist for a mom and honestly Presbyterians are really holiday religious participants. Oh, I’m sure someone won’t like that….Anyway my point was I was allowed to explore my own faith and beliefs from an early age. My two best friends at the time were Jewish and Catholic. So I attended all sorts of ceremonies.

  4. I loved your post. Several parts were funny, and it was all thought provoking and profound. I am going to look for that movie. I haven’t heard of it before.

  5. Pingback: Dungeon Prompts – Season 3, Week 2: The Healing Arts | The Seeker's Dungeon

  6. Love the article, the clip and the quote. My sister wrote a whole musical drama that we performed one christmas in Amritapuri based on that quote. Glad to see you were up to the challenge 🙂 I love that clip from orange is the new black, the whole thing, but when she says, “I don’t believe a billion Indians are going to hell,” is what really made it for me.

    • That was the best part of the clip. I got a preview of what is to come since I have not made it to that point yet in OITNB. I bet the musical drama was wonderful. I love that quote as you can tell since it made its way onto my page. 🙂 If this is any indication of the prompts you intend to produce in season 3…….Oy!

  7. Pingback: Dungeon Prompts – Season 3, Week 1: Concepts of God – What are yours? | The Seeker's Dungeon

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