This week’s Friday Fictioneer prompt provided by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields ran in a myriad of directions in my mind, very indicative of my Piscean nature. In the end there could be only one. (cue music to The Highlander). With that thunderbolt, here’s this week’s photo and story. Make sure to click here and read other people’s offerings. They won’t disappoint.
Copyright – Douglas M. MacIlroy
Underbelly
“Where’s Rachel?” Ichiro went about his business completely ignoring her. “I said where’s Rachel?”
She hadn’t returned a single call in weeks. And they didn’t go a day without talking. Something was wrong. Even more so was Ichiro’s uncharacteristic calm.
Slowly, calculating he fed the koi eagerly gulping at the pond’s surface. Exasperated, Sara glared; walking over to him she tried her best to be imposing. She wasn’t leaving without an answer. But he didn’t move, just starred at his fluid reflection twisting with each colorful scale.
A glint of gold caught her eye. Beneath the frenzy lay Rachel’s ring.
Word Count: 100
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Very sinister. Well done.
Thank you Tony.
I think we had the same muse on this one. If I were Sara, I think I’d run at that point.
We did indeed. And yes it is time for Sara to make a swift exist. Those Koi are plenty fat already.
Perhaps her ring slipped off when she flung food to the Koi. Yeah. That’s it, right? (a dark tale for this time of year and nicely told.)
When I wrote this I thought perhaps she flung at her husband’s head while leaving him. That would explain his behavior by the pond. But them I remembered if that were the case. Sara, her best friend, would know it.
Dear Dana,
Could you mean “exasperated” as opposed to “exacerbated”? Either way, there should be a comma after it. 😉
My Ichiro isn’t nearly as evil as yours. I have a sense that Sarah’s about to join Rachel.
Nice one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Rochelle,
I did mean exasperated and have added the comma. Thank you.
Yes your Ichiro was indeed much sweeter. I knew a real life Ichiro and he was a big love as well.
I too think Sara should make for the hills quickly.
Dana
Dear Dana,
Do you mean, ‘exasperated’ instead of ‘exacerbated’ I wonder? Otherwise an wonderful story for the prompt and perhaps for Halloween.
Aloha,
Doug
Doug,
Oh my goodness. I did mean exasperated. I had to look up both definitions to be sure but truly Sara is not the one increasing the violence in this tale. Thank you much.
Dana
A chilling tail. Well done. Karen
Thanks Karen. I had funny going a little Hallows Eve on this one.
The ending really caught me unwares. Loved it.
Yay! That’s what I was hoping for. Thanks
Good spooky Halloween tale–hopefully, Sara doesn’t meet a similar fate.
One can hope. But I fear he has tasted blood so she is far from safe. Best to get away quickly. Happy Hallows Eve VB.
Would be an excellent tale for this night or another around a campfire; my favorite kind of stories.
Yes I was channeling a little holiday spook. Ghost stories around the campfire….those were the days. Thanks Dawn.
I had a girl scout troop when my daughter was young. They loved those stories! Make sure you keep this one.
This was another route I was going to take — I’m glad I didn’t — you told the story very well.
Fabulous twisty minds think alike. Thanks Helena.
Very very sinister. Niely done.
Thanks Sandra. A little sinister for Halloween.
Great last line – like walking into a wall of realisation. And fish are so calming, usually. I’d get out of there quick.
She should indeed get out before he turns on her. Thanks Mike.
absolutely creepy. well done 🙂
Thanks KZ. Channeling a little Hallows Eve Spirit.
Darkly told, nice job 🙂
Thanks Helen.