I returned from my 25th High school reunion jumbled. Time crumbled at my feet. The melding of past, present, and future confused. I began to write. The only way I know how to work through an emotion quagmire. Somewhere in … Continue reading
My illness has the benefit of pushing me further into the now. My mind drifts off to the “what ifs”, the “could be(s)”. The myriad of fears that lay possible in the path before like a giant chasm waiting to … Continue reading
It was a skinny dipping kind of night. Stripping down I slid into the hot tub to soak away the stress of a burdensome week both professionally and personally. It was a necessity. The weight of which had invoked a … Continue reading
I had another MRI to recheck the damage on my cervical spinal cord. Determine the next course of action. See if I can truly continue to push off surgery with steroid injections. This has all gotten routine. My fear of … Continue reading
This week I took myself to dinner. One of my regular haunts. I couldn’t drink alcohol all week in prep for my spinal MRI. With the contrast dye my one kidney needs all the support it can get. A couple saddle up beside me. “What is that you’re eating” she inquired under her husband’s grimace. “He hates when I talk to strangers”.
“The Bolognese” I replied. “You’re an east coaster that’s why you talk to strangers” I explained.
“New Yawk” she confirmed what I already knew.
I explained how Seattlites are prone to the freeze. And that most times when someone chats me up they are from the east. I shared that I hailed from outside Philly. My Dad was a Jersey boy who swept my Seattle momma off her feet. They shared this was their first visit to the Emerald City, how their son got an internship with Microsoft while enviably eyeing my beignets.
In fairness, it might just be the nature of being a traveler. I find people expand themselves beyond their comfort zones while out of town. However, butting themselves into another’s space is something East Coaster’s do naturally. Something I hope to never lose.
“You must really love this place to eat here by yourself.”
I eat out alone all the time I held my tongue.
I’ve been single for a while now (6+ years). I go to the movies and out to my favorite restaurants, to concerts and dancing if the mood strikes, even on vacation. It has become old hat. And often I meet someone truly fabulous I wouldn’t have otherwise.
Like the young 25 year old dynamo visiting Seattle for a family reunion, excited to be able to finally rent a car by herself. It was like seeing a younger me. Our chat sidled to the bar has become one of my top 10 life moments. People are simply- FUCKING AMAZING.
Now my newly widowed co-worker has yet to brave dinner alone. Talking with her I tried to remember back to my first time. It was just after my first divorce, before my second. I chose one of my regular haunts, a restaurant that my best friend and her boyfriend worked at, so safe. And I brought a book to look busy if necessary. It wasn’t. Gradually I went out more and more and left the books home.
I posted a picture of my family on Facebook. An old high school friend commented how beautiful we were- some variation of winning the genetic lottery. Ha! That’s for sure. Just not the way he meant it. (Thanks VHL!) We’d … Continue reading