Consider this a quick addendum to To Post or Not to Post. And my answer is now- To Post.
See, the other day I had another epiphany of sorts. Approaching my scan it occurred to me. If cancer is back I would not hesitate to post what I’d written. Because I’d have nothing to lose, time shortened yet again.
And in truth I’d be less open to inviting love in. So scaring someone off, eh! There’s plenty to run from already (deep end of the pool), but if sick again I’d be able to justify their flight, as well as my reticence.
Then it hit me. I should not have to be sick and dying, not need a buffer or any justification to share my soft underbelly. I need only to be true to myself.
And as a friend, understanding my concern for TMI, reminded me: love comes when you aren’t looking (i.e. unprepared) and *wink * it is just as possible someone may fall in love with you just because of it.
I am only sharing this now because I won’t have time to post my 5 part piece before I get the scan results. Honestly, it still needs a good edit. But I need to acknowledge out loud my intent. Let you, my readers, know it is coming.
Along with what I believe will be a fun post about my weekend adventures and foibles in Colorado- the ability of great friends to help keep anxiety at bay. And depending on my results I know there will be things to write as well as what I am know will be a rant of sorts on the difficulties of changing oncologists and care facilities. For now let’s just say It’s been a really frustrating morning at the docs.