Not Entertained!

I don’t tend to think literally. I often see and hear things in metaphor. My love for Christian music for example does not stem from some deeply religious belief in Jesus as my lord and savior. I don’t believe in a figure head speaking to God on my behalf. I will not follow your lead. I’ll do my own negotiations thanks.

I’m not what one would consider religious-more metaphysical, occasionally pagan, and burdened by memories of past lives. But I do believe in a higher power, a strength of heart and sense of character that resides in all men.

“The Kingdom of God is within you (and all about you), not in buildings of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood and I am there, lift a stone and you will find me.” ~Stigmata

So often when I listen to Christian music the “God”, being sung to, translates as a lover for me, in essence love songs to a soul mate.

This week when I posted a picture on social media talking of ice cream soothing a broken heart. Many of my nearest and dearest wondered when they missed the beat. Had a man wigged his way in and fled without their knowing? My broken heart translating to lost love.

Oh, how I wish I could return to the day of high school heart breaks and skinned knees when the weight of the world was Lilliputian. But the things that weigh me down these days are anything but. They are heavy, cut deep, deadly.

People love to say God only gives us what we can handle. UGH!!! Again I refuse to give credit for my strength and survival over to another. I trust myself. I am a survivor. And I will fight whatever comes my way. But let’s get real. Many days I can’t handle it all. There is overload. There is too much weight. Those are the moments we need community, loved ones to carry the weight, even if for a moment, so you can catch a breath.

My little sis reminded me how our parents taught us to dive under the oncoming ocean waves to avoid being pummeled. Life is full of waves, metaphorically. Some you can dive under, some pound you to the sand, many wash you ashore and sometimes you get to body surf. But no matter what you have to survive.  I’ve learned over the years to weather one hell of a storm and to trust in myself. It’s the one thing you can count on unequivocally in life!!!

Back to the metaphorical me.

As you know, if you follow this blog, I have music for every major moment in my life. And right now Pink is my soundtrack, particularly U + UR Hand. And once again this should not be taken literally. This is not about a man…the- I’m Not Dead Album…Come on!

It is about a fight, punching till the anger is drained. It is about having my own back and the back of those I love most, of being a warrior. Because…”I’m not here for your entertainment. You don’t really want to mess with me tonight. Just stop and take a second. I was fine before you walked into my life. Cause you know it’s over before it began…”

In other words, FUCK Cancer!!!

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