I’ve been surfing for a while now. The shore no longer in sight. I brave wave after wave. Ok, a little dramatic. But I am waiting for the universe to let me come up for air. Better yet, float along peacefully for a bit. Dare I proclaim, “I’ve earned it”.
Had my 6 month follow-up scan. The good news is the lump in my lung is unchanged. As long as it remains small there is nothing to do. Until it reaches 7mm it can’t even be biopsied. So really as far as the cancer is concerned, for all intents and purposed, still clear.
However, they may have found the cause of my SIBO. It looks as though my colon has twisted up on itself. This explains a lot of my recent symptoms (of which I’ll spare you). But this means there may be another surgery in my future. I won’t sugar coat my feelings about this. FUCK!
There is much more going on in my life that is even deeper and more personal. Someone I love dearly is rapidly disappearing to Dementia. I am still harboring resentments for friends that turn out to be something less than supportive. I have a house I need to try and sell. Let’s just say I couldn’t possibly write for Friday Fictioneers this week. Even I couldn’t handle the level of depression that would have flowed from my finger tips.
Other than that I hope to find out about the Asbestos fix to my apartment today. The landlord has rethought the importance of making this a priority. I still don’t know if I should really relocate, find a new apartment. But I love my current location and digs. Oh BTW handsome man in the building is the snoring newlywed upstairs. He’d be horrified to know this. And it turns out my next door neighbor is also soft on the eyes. Though honestly I think he is young and would thrust me into cougar territory. Let’s just say the building has many perks.
I have been working hard on getting my artwork fixed for Helena. I want her to be able to print t-shirts without the white backgrounds. Almost finished and on the way. 🙂
Lizzi and I also won Helena’s competition with our pinterest board Helena Hann-Basquiat Feels Like… Helena is even going to guest post on my blog. Seriously I am so excited. I just have to decide what I want her to write about. Hmmmm the possibilities….
Last weekend I discovered another perk of a Gay BFF. Having a man give you the honest to goodness truth about how those jeans make your ass look is priceless. But that’s not it. I traded a little emotional support for a much needed cuddle. I got to be held and let go for just the briefest of moments. And he got an ear for venting.
Then this week I had a friend make me laugh when I thought it impossible. And a little lecture later I let myself off the hook for impossible promises I made. It is always good remembering your not alone even if sometimes it feels like you are.
Okay I am off. I have much to do and little time to get it done. However I do get to enjoy a Fashion Show this weekend- NYFA’s Student show, part of Ballard Art Walk. I highly recommend it if your in Seattle. Until then……
Blast from This Blogs Past
- 2011: Monday Meditation ~ Happiness Matrix
- 2012: Cancer Sucks
- 2013: How Tiramisu Ruined a Model’s Career
The Weekend Reading List
- Nothing, I got nothing. Okay I have lots but none ready to post. So feel free to send some suggestions my way. And I’ll add them here.
- Finding Perspective In A Life Under Water~ “Because you are fighting. You are fighting to not drown under the incredible weight of fear.”
- My Greatest Sorrow is My Greatest Joy