I was recently talking to DT² who insisted that the next time I kiss a man she requires photographic proof. I understand. It would be like spotting an albino rhino in Antarctica. Or is that a spotted penguin in the Safari?
“So”, I inquired,” you want me to what, take a selfie?”
“No”, she corrected, “that would be an USsie, but yes that will do.”
I am not sure I can navigate a lip locking let alone my iphone and god forbid we use tongue. I shutter to think about it. (Get it…shutter…picture…..forget it). By the way I misspelled it on purpose.
It is official I am going to Australia. Okay not official as in I have ticket, or plans, or a place to stay. More of a general I have to make it happen.
But honestly the recruiter needs me in Singapore. It is my duty as her friend. Besides if she keeps texting me birthday cake shots I’m leaving tonight.
The truth is she needs me. She was all emotional on her birthday, the boys heading to their first day of school, her eldest beginning high school. She emailed me the cutest picture of the three of them. That’s a pretty big deal for mums. I mean my boss’s wife has been crying for days about her eldest heading to college. He leaves the nest tomorrow.
I really should have moved to Singapore, become the recruiters domestic partner (I have to have medical insurance), cared for the boys. We would of course need to have an open relationship since we both like men. Unfortunately she already hired someone. Damn!
So anyway, she emailed me that she is blue. So being the friend I am I let her know exactly why she feels the way she feels.
“Your emotional because the boys are growing up and you’re a year older, and your Bo is a putz and you miss me terrible. Really it is nearly paralyzing your desire to be having drinks with me in the sun on the lake right now. It is a wonder you can work at all today. *Smooches*”
She replied, “Yes that’s it! See you understand me completely!”
NOW do you see why I must go? It is my imperative as her friend. I love her too much to deny her my company. (This is transference folks. Stick with me.)
Wait? You want to know about Australia? Fine.
So, if I am going to fly nearly half way around the globe to see the recruiter than I must go to OZ. Besides if Reddog doesn’t meet me then how will he and his queen ever be able to fix me up with a right proper bloke. And I totally want to go to a SoulSong Choir songwriting workshop since Ellen spoke so highly of them. And honestly, don’t laugh, especially you Aussies, but if I could meet the cast from McLeod’s daughters that would be awesome. Yes, I know that show is as old as dynasty. But what can I say?
I’ve got another year at least to make this a reality. And by then my list of people to meet and places to go is only bound to grow. Anyone want to join me Down Undah?
P.S. if anyone has tickets to the Australian Open let me know. My Mum wants to go. If I took her I might go down in history as the world’s best daughter ever.