I’m Bitter About My New Sweetie!

My boyfriend let me down. I don’t mean like showing up 5 minutes late or leaving the toilet seat up or forgetting my birthday. (Honestly I wouldn’t care about the last one. But Valentine’s Day– look out, it’s on). No, he ditched me.

If you read my blog you may have heard about my recent love affair with Patric. I know, oh so exotic dropping the K off the end. I’ve tried to keep him on the down low. But Patric is tall, dark and handsome. Complex, rich and dare I even say sultry?

He’s the only one I’ve been willing to even consider going out with at all. My friends love him. No, like really really love him. They only have to meet him once and they are completely hooked. He’s THAT great, joining me and gal pals more than once for lunch. He’ll even go shopping. Frankly he doesn’t complain holding my purse. And I’ve snuck him into the office on many an occasion.

To be honest, I’m willing to share him with my friends. Wait; does that make me a polygamist? I think I just became a sister wife.

Well, there is plenty of him to go around. And somehow sharing makes everything a little more exciting. And come on, truthfully, there really can be TOO much of a good thing. If you disagree just remember college after one too many ______________(fill in the alcoholic beverage). If you’re a teetotaler I’ve got nothing to say to you. You might want to stop reading now.

When I first met him I was skeptical. He seemed a little high maintenance for my taste. Dare I even say Hi-brow? He has really expensive taste.

But Patric is unbelievably satisfying. Dare I say a little piece of heaven? The first time I undressed him I thought I’d come undone. When he touch my lips he felt like velvet. He melted across my tongue. I was breathless.

I went to meet him last week, as I usually do, but he was out. I mean completely gone. I tell you if I show up at a man’s house he better be there. Well, you can guess there was be hell to pay. I mean unless I showed up unannounced, which I’d never do, because that would be stalking. Geesh people! How crazy do you think I am? (That is a rhetorical question!)

So, I sought him elsewhere. Searched high and low all over town. Every haunt I could think he’d might frequent. Finally found him up on Queen Anne. Everyone needs to visit dear old Grandma at the home every once and awhile. Didn’t I tell you he is a great guy? His brothers were there with him. Triplets it turns out. Who knew? I hear they have lots of cousins too.

Now, this may come as a shock since I am usually so reserved. I am a one-man woman. One of the most committed people you’ll meet. Okay, I understand your skepticism as I’m willing to pass him around to my besties.  But honestly I AM a one-man kind of gal.

But, I simply had no choice. I couldn’t resist a threesome. One look at his elder brother and my defenses melted away, anger gone. He was delectable. Wait, I guess it was actually a foursome- the three of them and me. Yeah, you get the picture.

I have to confess it really was a close tie between Patric and his big brother. I do have thing for older men. They both are so flavored, refined, complex. It was hard to choose. My doctors recommend they be at least 70% pure, which elder brother has achieved. And then some!

Patric 75 Madagascar

Patric is close at 67%. But honestly he is YUMMY! And there is nothing like your first love.

Patric 67 Madagascar

As for the youngest brother …well, let’s just say if you are going to refer to yourself as OMG. Then you had damn well better knock my socks off. He did not. Honestly I left him half dressed. But I would gladly help their Dad school him in the finer points of pleasing a woman. I have some suggestions.

Patric PBJ OMG

Little Brother

So in the end I really am a one-man woman and a very generous friend. Oh. Sorry. Got to run. I have a date.


21 thoughts on “I’m Bitter About My New Sweetie!

  1. Pingback: The Weekend ~ Confection Affection, Shopping Addiction & My Funny Bone | DCTdesigns Creative Canvas

  2. a little ways through, i was “disappointed” that it wasn’t what i was hoping it was. it was like an interracial swinger story – kinda. oh well, at least you had a good time wrapping your lips around patric. right? 😉

  3. Dana, Dana, Dana!! HA! Great story!! You had me all hot and bothered! I was thinking I wanted to meet this guy!! Wowsers! LOL! And yes…sometimes eating chocolate is better than sex! There! I said it! (and I’ve had some good sex!) 😉

    • I have to agree with you 100% Sometimes nothing satisfies quite like chocolate. I’m feeling guilty because I cheated on patric today with Joe. I have no idea how to tell him. 😉 This love affair is starting to get complicated.

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