I tend to get crushes on one or the other celebrity sibling for various reasons. An absurd exercise since I know nothing about them as real people. If you’ve read my Poem The Thinking Girl’s Man you know John Cusack rates at the top of my “future something” list. Really I should call it my #1 dating procrastination technique. When pressured by my girlfriends about dating again I say “I’ll go on a date when John asks me, until then I’m good.” See what I did there? Guaranteed perpetual singledom.
Anyhoo, in this poem I admit my adoration for John is in large part due to the company he keeps i.e. the fabulousness of his sister Joan. Unfortunately for John, his recent foray into political ranting has pulled him from the top of my list. This also means that Joan has moved into first place in this sibling pair. Come on, you KNOW she would make one killer girlfriend to chat with into the night.
This brings me to last night’s dream, without a doubt sparked by the evening’s conversation of which celebrity sibling was cuter. It was nonetheless surprising and revealing in a multitude of ways.
I was living in a coastal town. Suddenly planes where crashing down, debris washing ashore and people seemingly walking right out of the ocean up the main road into town. Now don’t ask me why Main Street dead-ended in the ocean, its fantasy.
So, the world was being invaded and destroyed. I had not determined by what or whom, nor even the why. These wanderers introduced themselves to us using their real names, as well as their “ghost name”, i.e. refugee name given to them since losing their homes. The “Hi I’m Enzo from Rome. They call me Ranger” kind of thing.
Two brothers approached seeming to have answers, which we desperately needed. After a quick aside on the safety of inviting them into our home (honestly they could just case the joint and rob of us of everything we owned-it was desperate times after all), we determined it was best to gain any intel about the invasion. Stick with me; this is a long, twisty and convoluted dream. As they often are.
Okay I’ll just cut to the chase, the part that applies to celebrity siblings, and frankly the lovely part of this particular dream. So, the eldest brother Enzo was very Orlando Bloomesque. You know, yummy. Yes, I realize that romance is invading my apocalyptic fantasy. There is a huge underlying metaphor for my life here that I am choosing to ignore entirely. I advise you do the same.
I began walking down my hallway. There were torn tatters of paper strew everywhere with a red ribbon interwoven (thanks for this Anja). Each piece held a fraction of a love note, guiding like breadcrumbs to the next. I realized they were left for me by Enzo.
I looked at my girlfriend with concern. “Donnie can’t find these, he’ll flip out”. There at the end the hall sat my husband, Donnie Wahlberg, fuming over more tattered pieces of Orlando’s woo trail.
Let me assure you, when the world is falling apart and you want to feel loved and protected, Donnie’s your man! How do I know this? Watch one episode of Blue Bloods and you’ll get it. Not to mention his character Danny is attracted to a strong woman, so I’ve decided (because I can) there’s something about his nature that wouldn’t rob me of my own strength. He’d let me kick ass and then back me up when necessary. I kind of like a tough nut with a gooey center.
But at this point in the dream (you know, the aforementioned lovely part); he wrapped me in his arms. And in vein of a great fantasy I wasn’t 2 inches taller than him. I simply buried my head in his chest, ran my fingers along his stubble as he gently kissed my neck. Hello!
So now you know which Wahlberg brother I prefer and the new cream at to the top of my celebrity dating procrastination list, Joan Cusack. Cause honestly girlfriends rock!
Now I’ll leave you with a few pairings to choose from. Whether for love or friendship you’ll have to pick. You’ll also need to have your own dream to determine where your heart lies.
Ben & Casey Affleck | Phylicia Rashad & Debbie Allen | Rosana, Alexis, Patricia, Raymond, and David Arquette | Beau & Jeff Bridges | Alec, Daniel, Stephen, & William Baldwin | Dean & Roger Cain | John & Joan Cusack | Zooey & Emily Deschanel | Matt & Kevin Dillon | Dakota & Elle Fanning | Jane & Peter Fonda | Emilio Estevez, Charlie Sheen, & Ramon Estevez | Cuba & Omar Gooding | Maggie & Jake Gyllenhal | Oliver & Kate Hudson | Wynonna & Ashley Judd | Beyonce & Solange Knowles | Nick & Drew Lachey | Joey, Matthew & Andrew Lawrence | Rob & Chad Lowe | Michael & Virginia Madsen | Shirley MacLaine & Warren Beatty | Ashley, Mary-Kate & Elizabeth Olsen | Tatum, Griffin, & Patrick O’Neal | Sean, Chris & Michael Penn | River, Joaquin, River, Rain & Liberty Phoenix | Dennis & Randy Quaid | Eric & Julia Roberts | Elisabeth & Andrew Shue | Jessica & Ashlee Simpson | Patrick & Don Swayze | Meg & Jennifer Tilly | Donnie, Mark & Robert Wahlberg | Owen, Luke & Andrew Wilson