This weekend I took to sketching the wonder twins. If you’re not familiar with the misadventures of this dynamic duo please go now and begin reading. Seriously read first then come back for the sketch.
I wanted to draw these two as they’ve brought me endless entertainment. Once I completed the artwork I sent it off for review (and praise of course). I was feeling pretty good about it. It went like this.
“This is absolutely fabulous, darling — I think you made me look very sexy. Penny thinks you made me look old, for which I smacked her, and then she said — well, actually, you ARE old, so I suppose that makes sense, for which I smacked her again, and she cried child abuse, and I said, OH, so you’re a CHILD now, are you? and took away her cosmo (she can really only have one or things get messy) and she cried and threw a hissy fit and I had to send her to her room without dinner.
Oh, and Penny (and I quote) “totally wants that Clash t-shirt” “
Darlings as she refers to her lovely minions, followers I mean. Our favorite Dilettante deserves to have a pink greyhound in hand and Jimmy Choos on her feet. The Countess I decided needed a little Dickensian flair in keeping with her oft used cockney accent- only one of her many personas.
Now the perfectionist I am already wants the countess’s hair to be darker and her fuchsia highlights to be brighter. I fear I may have toned her down too much and if so she’d be the first to say so.
P.S. If anyone out there can supply the countess with the vintage Clash Amplified t-shirt please let me know. Hell!…….Two please. I want one as well. Yes I realize I’m also old enough to be the countess’s mother but I really don’t know what that has to do with anything. Cool is cool! (except perhaps when you say cool).
Honestly sometimes we have to live vicariously in drawings, try on all sorts of vintage couture, jewels and choos – our own pretty women goes to the opera moment. No not the hooker with a heart of gold thing.
Though I did get to wear a Golden Nugget showgirl costume once- sequins, plumed tail and all. My friend’s father’s company manufactured them. Already 5’11” I was unusually tall for a twelve year old. I fit the costume perfectly…..okay okay all but the bust line. But it made no matter to me. I felt like a showstopper.
Now let me introduce you to Helena Hann-Basquait, Tuesday Talent Interview Style.
I’m Scatterbrained, really – if you can believe it. One of the few drawbacks of being a dilettante is that I’m constantly juggling many different projects (oh, and did I ever tell you that I can juggle? Yep. Learned when I was twelve – I wanted to join the circus). If a ball drops now and again, I’ll never admit to it – I’ll just keep on juggling and smiling.
Oh, but you were trying to get me to shamelessly promote myself. Right. Well, I write terribly ironic self-deprecating semi-autobiographical post-modern memoirs (not to put too sharp a point on it) and when I’m not, I write creepy, weird fiction under the name Jessica B. Bell
Who inspires Helena
Musicians with poetic souls. Morrissey. Amanda Palmer. Robert Smith. Eliiot Smith. Patti Smith. Hephestus and the Blacksmiths (I just made that last one up ‘cause I couldn’t think of another Smith). Writers with musical souls. Nick Hornby, Dr. Seuss, Christopher Moore. Neil Gaiman.
What Helena Does
I find I do an awful lot of two things: inhaling and exhaling. I’d like to think I’ve actually become an expert at them. While I’m doing that, I work for a Talent Agency, actually – we hire what you’d call Extras for various television and film productions. I’ve even done some Extra work myself when the occasion calls for it.
What Helena does best
I do this combo thing with my tongue and little finger – when I’m eating an ice cream cone – god, where did you think I was going with that? Perverts.
I’d have to say I do self-deprecating humour best. When one secretly loathes oneself, who better to laugh at? (Oh, and now I’ve made you uncomfortable. Don’t be – I want you to laugh at me, too!)
What other profession Helena would like to attempt
You’ll laugh. But if I had it to do all over again, I would have studied language or linguistics, and gone to work at the UN or something. I have a natural talent for languages that I never truly developed.
What turns Helena on creatively, spiritually or emotionally
Good music played loudly. Seeing an amazing band – someone truly unique – live. I’ve had a few opportunities like this in the last couple of years, and it’s been phenomenal. The same with excellent films – sadly I can’t say I’ve seen any of those in recent years, but I can always revisit my favourites, like American Beauty, Fight Club, The Game, 12 Monkeys (are you seeing a theme? I like them dark and weird).
Where to find Helena
Oh, you’ll never find me, darling. Oh, unless you mean my social media stuff. Well, there’s the blog of course, and then I occasionally tweet (is that the proper verb? Dear god!) and you can follow me @hhbasquiat
Where Helena got her Talent/Education
I spent several months in isolation in a tiny little town in the Catskills, and buried myself there like a caterpillar in a chrysalis, and when I finally broke free, I emerged as a fledgling version of the dilettante you know and love. From there, it was a long strange memorable trip.
Finally borrowing from Bernard Pivot- If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Well, I hope She’ll smile, open Her arms and say: “Darling! What took you so long? It’s been terribly dull here without you!”