Thespis #fridayfictioneers via rochelle – 10/11

Friday Fictioneers is here! The challenge each week is to write a 100-word story inspired by a photo prompt provided on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog.

Click the link below my story to read other writer’s creations.  Enjoy!
sandra-crook-3

Copyright – Sandra Crook

 

In Character or Thespis

“Come on take the shot already” she barked, desperately wanting a café and a moment’s peace away from crowds.

The camera flashed. Blinking she stood at the edge of the amphitheater stage. Around her masked faces stared waiting. The audience tiered before her in anticipation. Looking down she wore a long Grecian gown, curls tickling her shoulder, and sandaled toes peering up.

“I would hold in my hand a spear with a steel point.” She whispered.

“Arion, What the ….?”

Snapping back to the present she adjusted her sight to her husband. “Huh?”

“Where are you?”

“Another life, another time.”

 

Word Count: 100

 

A Quote from Euripide’s Hippolytus: “Love distills desire upon the eyes, love brings bewitching grace into the heart of those he would destroy. I pray that love may never come to me with murderous intent […]” 

 

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22 thoughts on “Thespis #fridayfictioneers via rochelle – 10/11

  1. A lovely piece. I’d quite like her to get lost for longer and see what happened. I got tiered on the first read, so I don’t have any issue there. But, just to be pedantic, I wonder if you need a comma after stared – because they’re both staring and waiting?

  2. Dana, dreams are wonderful things, aren’t they? Perhaps she needs to get involved in some community theater or something. 🙂 I was wondering whether the spear was meant for her husband, but that’s probably because it’s a FF story!!

    A couple things–” Around her masked faces starred waiting. The audience tiered before her in anticipation.” I think you mean “face stared” but I’m not sure what you want instead of “tiered.” The most vital comma missing is the one Doug pointed out. If she desperately wants the cafe, it goes after “barked.”

    janet

    • She does indeed desperately want the cafe so the comma will be placed after barked. 🙂 And I did mean stared. Tiered is because the audience is sitting stadium style one above the other before her.

      Ah yes the spear! Well that is Phaedra’s line from the Greek play Hippolytus at the height of her maniacal raving to escape to the mountains in masculine pursuits. There is of course a much deeper more multifaceted meaning as well in the play. 😉

      It is hard to think of a commonly know line from Greek plays. Then to boot, since it is a past life memory, she’d actually have been a man since women were not permitted to perform.

      • I knew what you meant by “tiered” but I’ve never heard or read of it used as a verb before. However, I just looked it up and it can be used that way. Learn something new every day. It might, though, put people off a bit because they’re unlikely to have seen it that way before.
        🙂

        janet

  3. Dear Dana,

    First sentence needs a comma, either after barked or desperately. Starred or stared? The audience tiered? You lost me there.

    All that having been said, I thought this story stunning. Totally derailed by housekeeping details. I hope you’ll take this in the spirit intended, because this story could really move people.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • Doug- Thank you for the corrections.

      I usually have too many commas not too few. 😉

      And I meant stared. Though I suppose since they are wearing masks the other could work. The audience is tiered because they’re sitting one above the other in the stadium.

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