The challenge posed is to write a 100-word story inspired by a photo prompt provided on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ blog. I am new to this group and don’t know if writing two stories is Verboten. So please let me know if I need to flip a coin next time two stories fight for the title slot. And make sure to click the link below to read other writer’s creations.
Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields
“How exactly is this supposed to get me into character?” All I could do was clutch the side of the boat through the chop. “I’m not opening for wicked and green is definitely not my color.”
“Yea!That’ll be the day. How many times do I friggin have to go over this? It’s a mini-series.”
“Then what are the cooler and anchor chains for?”
“Fawget aboutit! Let’s just call it Capano 101.”
Suddenly I couldn’t recall how many miles off shore till it becomes international waters. Or what the Actress Wanted ad said. Shit! Why hadn’t I called my agent first?
Word Count: 100Footnote: Thomas Capano was convicted of killing his lover Anne Marie Fahey and dumping her body in the Atlantic Ocean.
Tony panicked. Imploringly she looked at him” Daddy what are you doing with Nemo?” the tears welling in her eyes.
Caught red handed over the toilet he punted “Remember in the movie? Nemo was trying to swim home. He was too quick Honey. I couldn’t stop him.”
“This is his home.” Fay stomped accusingly.
What had he been thinking? After tooling around the harbor for the last 4 hours, Fay desperately crying out “Nemo”, he knew he should’ve been honest. But at this point he didn’t want to go home. He’d a bigger problem. His wife was gonna kill him.
Word Count: 100
I love the contrast between the two stories. Good job. 🙂
Thank you. I appreciate the feedback.
Everyone else said all the good stuff. I agree.
capano. i think that was delaware, right? poor girl. not just call an agent but perhaps the police. fun piece, in a dark way.
The police, the national guard, hell any nearby fishing vessel. Perhaps she should just dive in and start swimming for shore.
Yes Delaware. I know I took liberties (pun intended).
Poor girl indeed. But the manner in which these two idiots tried to dispose of her body was horrific and sadly comedic. It definitely was the tone of my piece. I have a friend that reserves her darker humor for me.I always seem to laugh. Even at its most twisted.
ugh. body in a cooler and then, when it wouldn’t sink, shooting at it. idiots. i have a teacher friend who had his children in her class down there.
Yes then abandoning all of that to finally wrap her in anchor chains to sink her. Sometimes humans are just seriously ugly.
incidents are increasing. invest in locks. big ones. maybe kevlar.
They are now designing bullet proof blackboards and backpacks for children. It is a new world.
and sofa cushions. i’m hoping for condoms. no, not bulletproof. just in general.
Don’t you know children are prepared to die but not have discussions about safe sex. That would still be too progressive in school.
completely. i admit, when i watch a movie with my 15-year old daughter, i am more concerned about sex and nudity than violence because i know she isn’t phased (but should be) about violence. but i know she feels awkward about sex when we’re watching together. of course, i blame her mother. and the media. 😉
Media Yes. But blaming her mother is too convenient. Talking about sex (or watching nudity in a movie) with your Dad is awkward for all girls. 😉
wasn’t serious about the mom, but i just like to blame her for things. convenience #1.
Yes. I’m sure it’s reciprocal. 🙂
Don’t listen….write 50 stories if you want! They can always go to another blog but if you go over 100 words are even one word under I will be disappointed 🙂 All kidding aside I followed the first story with no problem although the dialect was a little over the top….That being said it kinda made it funnier. Well done and welcome! The second one was great!
Okay so I went too New Yaaawwwker on it. This can be remedied. I wanted to give the dialect a go.
I grew up outside of Philly and hated the accent growing up. Then on the west coast 10 years later I found myself with chills up my spine, interest peaked, just from the sound of the man talking behind me. Funny how things change.
I’ve been checking out your poems- very impressed and your about me is the outta this world.
It makes my day to hear that… I noticed you comments on my page and I really appreciate it. I am glad you liked my Stutter and Stop poem on my “about” page. I just wish a made a better recording.
I’d welcome you to Friday Fictioneers but I think I did that two to three weeks ago. 😉
l like the first story better. One thing I learned from my editor of my short story anthology is to be careful with dialect. A little here and there is good for seasoning. Too much and it’s hard to digest.
Yes you did. I should have said newish. 😉 Still get the lay of the land, dos and don’ts.
Would you suggest I trim the dialect in this piece? I worried it would be a little much and is easily down.
I think I liked the second one better. It didn’t nearly go in the direction I expected. I always like that. The first is interesting from it’s historical value. I also like the way you handled the accents. Good stuff. Welcome to the Fictioneers!
That is what I wanted with the first one- to play with accents. I can speak New Yawker but writing it was another challenge all together. Thanks for reading.
Yes… Welcome to FriFic… Double the pleasure… but you will tire of writing two, but I know what you mean when you get two good ideas you want to share. Put up two if you like… I like to read, and I liked both. I enjoyed the humor of the second and love it when little girls stomp accusingly… my granddaughter used to do that and it was hard not to fall down in hysteric laughter. But I really liked the vibe of first story, and the real life tie-in.
Yes I agree I won’t make a habit of double dipping in the story telling each week. At first I didn’t have a clue what to write and then they both popped in like gladiators ready for battle.
There is nothing like the stomp until they get a little older and throw in the head and eye rolls. Now that is hysterical..
First of all, welcome to Friday Fictioneers, FF as we often call it. Secondly, two stories aren’t verboten but generally discouraged. However, two stories or going over 100 words won’t but you in the danger in which your first main character found herself.
Thirdly, I like the first story while the second, although well-written, has me confused. Is it supposed to be related to the first or a stand-alone? If stand-alone, maybe I don’t know what’s going on because I didn’t see the Nemo movie. 🙂
Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Janet- Thank you for the FF guideline update. Glad to hear I’m not in danger of becoming shark bait.
The second story is completely unrelated to the first. And the feedback is really helpful since I didn’t think “what if the reader hasn’t seen Finding Nemo”.
It’s an animated movie about a clownfish. He escapes a lab by going down the toilet. I could definitely edit this story to make it clear Daddy had flushed her dead fish and then lied about it.
No shark bait unless you fall in (or are pushed while wearing cement boots!)
Thanks for clearning that up about the second story. At first I thought that’s what you meant, then began to have doubts. Why was his wife going to kill him?
His wife was going to kill him since he lied to their daughter and continue to perpetuate his fraud for hours in the boat. He knew he should have just told her the truth.
This second one definitively need a bit of tweaking I think. 🙂