Happily Ever After…….My A**! (a Poem)

Fairytale Fashions

I wrote this then came across this short film Dysenchanted-Support Group of Fairy Tale Women. Appears I’m not as original as I thought.  The sketch is a modern twist on the Princesses of Fairy tales re-envisioned.

 

Happily Ever After……My A**!

Now Ladies Let’s get started, Mother Goose said

Take your seats

Let’s begin,

Before Wicked returns from the Dead

 

Belle, let’s start with you.

Well, He thought he’d tame the shrew

Apologize with flowers

For what he growled

Instead I taught that beast

Threw them at his head

 

Now Belle, MG replied

That’s not very nice.

 

Well……she shrugged.

I didn’t shave his head!

 

Let me tell you, Pea interrupted.

You complain once

they never let you forget it.

And don’t even get me started on his mother.

 

Mother’s really?, Cinder chimed

Let’s do that work another day

 

Not ready?, MG inquired.

Perhaps you should visit Mother Hubbard

 

Cinder continued

Have you ever tried living a lie?

I’m just not as fragile as

My glass slipper implies.

It takes a lot to keep everything so clean

 

Try living in a Shoe MG thought silently.

 

Odette, Elisa asked aside

Will you ever let me set you up

with one of my brothers?

You’d be a perfect match

 

Eliza Care to share?  MG inquired

 

I was telling Odette

She and my brothers

They’re birds of a feather.

 

Brothers, Jill exclaimed.

Let me tell you about brothers.

I do all the heavy lifting and

He prances around wearing my crown.

Will Jack ever stay out of my closet?

 

At least you talk to your Brother, Bo peeped

Try being the black sheep in the family.

See if you complain then.

 

Well, Dorothy cooed, Glinda says

There’s no place like home.

But Aunty Em, Uncle Henry

Hunk, Zeke and Hickory

Will have to wait.

I’ve decided to take the scenic route.

Visit Oz before going home.

I hear it’s a marvel.

 

I get it Rapunzel replied.

Once I let my hair down

I never looked back.

 

What about you Tiana?, MG asked

 

Well, I was telling Jiminy yesterday

I’m still amazed how many frogs

A girl has to kiss

Before she finds her Prince.

Then he reminded me he’s a cricket.

I told him same difference.

 

Well, Little Red relayed,

I think I’ve finally learned to

Recognize sheep wearing wolves’ clothes.

It’s a terrible disguise,

They’re so passive aggressive.

 

Next time Alladin takes me out

I’m driving the magic carpet.

He always thinks he knows where he’s going,

But he never does. And to boot

he drives like an old man.

 

Well at least he still takes you out,

Goldie complained.

It just isn’t right.

Once in a while I’d like a date

 

Oh Girlfriend, Jasmine jumped in,

See if he can raise three bears

and still look that good!

 

Oh let’s go have drinks, Gretel interjected.

I’m sick of bread crumbs.

I want wine and chocolate.

None of that low carb diet crap.

 

Sounds right to me, Muffit said.

Curds and whey Suck!

Actually I detest them.

Let spider eat them

He can cook for himself.

 

What…..Match exclaimed, lighting up.

Everyone looking her way

Seriously?……

Tell me you don’t have any bad habits?

 

MG reminded, not in here

Save it for Happy Hour.

 

Well, count me in! Beauty replied.

I could use a glass or two.

Hell, make it three.

These days I rely on Ambien

To get any sleep.

 

Well I’ll tell you, Snow replied.

Whoever said “an Apple a day”

sure as hell never lived in our world.

Happily Ever After my ass!

Let’s Go! We’ve earned it.

The End

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4 thoughts on “Happily Ever After…….My A**! (a Poem)

  1. fabulous job. my favorite part was jack snooping through jill’s closet. i bet he’s got some interesting stories to tell, if he ever comes “out.” well done. thanks.

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