I wrote this then came across this short film Dysenchanted-Support Group of Fairy Tale Women. Appears I’m not as original as I thought. The sketch is a modern twist on the Princesses of Fairy tales re-envisioned.
Happily Ever After……My A**!
Now Ladies Let’s get started, Mother Goose said
Take your seats
Before Wicked returns from the Dead
Belle, let’s start with you.
Well, He thought he’d tame the shrew
Apologize with flowers
For what he growled
Instead I taught that beast
Threw them at his head
Now Belle, MG replied
That’s not very nice.
I didn’t shave his head!
Let me tell you, Pea interrupted.
You complain once
they never let you forget it.
And don’t even get me started on his mother.
Mother’s really?, Cinder chimed
Let’s do that work another day
Not ready?, MG inquired.
Perhaps you should visit Mother Hubbard
Have you ever tried living a lie?
I’m just not as fragile as
My glass slipper implies.
It takes a lot to keep everything so clean
Try living in a Shoe MG thought silently.
Odette, Elisa asked aside
Will you ever let me set you up
with one of my brothers?
You’d be a perfect match
Eliza Care to share? MG inquired
I was telling Odette
She and my brothers
They’re birds of a feather.
Brothers, Jill exclaimed.
Let me tell you about brothers.
I do all the heavy lifting and
He prances around wearing my crown.
Will Jack ever stay out of my closet?
At least you talk to your Brother, Bo peeped
Try being the black sheep in the family.
See if you complain then.
Well, Dorothy cooed, Glinda says
There’s no place like home.
But Aunty Em, Uncle Henry
Hunk, Zeke and Hickory
Will have to wait.
I’ve decided to take the scenic route.
Visit Oz before going home.
I hear it’s a marvel.
I get it Rapunzel replied.
Once I let my hair down
I never looked back.
What about you Tiana?, MG asked
Well, I was telling Jiminy yesterday
I’m still amazed how many frogs
A girl has to kiss
Before she finds her Prince.
Then he reminded me he’s a cricket.
I told him same difference.
Well, Little Red relayed,
I think I’ve finally learned to
Recognize sheep wearing wolves’ clothes.
It’s a terrible disguise,
They’re so passive aggressive.
Next time Alladin takes me out
I’m driving the magic carpet.
He always thinks he knows where he’s going,
But he never does. And to boot
he drives like an old man.
Well at least he still takes you out,
It just isn’t right.
Once in a while I’d like a date
Oh Girlfriend, Jasmine jumped in,
See if he can raise three bears
and still look that good!
Oh let’s go have drinks, Gretel interjected.
I’m sick of bread crumbs.
I want wine and chocolate.
None of that low carb diet crap.
Sounds right to me, Muffit said.
Curds and whey Suck!
Actually I detest them.
Let spider eat them
He can cook for himself.
What…..Match exclaimed, lighting up.
Everyone looking her way
Tell me you don’t have any bad habits?
MG reminded, not in here
Save it for Happy Hour.
Well, count me in! Beauty replied.
I could use a glass or two.
Hell, make it three.
These days I rely on Ambien
To get any sleep.
Well I’ll tell you, Snow replied.
Whoever said “an Apple a day”
sure as hell never lived in our world.
Happily Ever After my ass!
Let’s Go! We’ve earned it.